Dear mosquitoes, go away. Love, Kate

One thing that I don't like about Taiwan is: bugs. Another is: thousand year eggs. More about that another time.
Those of you who are faithful blog followers will know that I have had several harrowing experiences with bugs to date. Such as the time a cockroach FLEW on my pillow. yeah. And the other time when I bought a magical tennis racket of doom that had powers to kill mosquitoes. If you're not a faithful follower of my blog, well, you know, whatever.
Anyway, the problem with the tennis racket of doom is that it is retaliatory, not preventative, in nature. The way you are alerted to a mosquitoes' presence is when it bites you. That's when you know it's time to kill it. But it doesn't change the fact that your leg now itches. And that there are probably mosquito friends lurking somewhere in the shadows, waiting.
This morning, at 3am, I received alerts that there was a mosquito I needed to kill. Twice. Once on the eyebrow and once on the lip.
Have you ever heard the story of the rookie soldier and the war veteran? And the rookie soldier is complaining about how he broke his fingernail. And then the war veteran is like "you wuss" and he breaks the rookie soldier's pinkie finger. And the rookie soldier says, "owwwww, why?" And the war veteran says, "well now your fingernail doesn't hurt, right?" Let's just say the mosquito bite on the lip FAR overshadows the mosquito bite on the eyebrow. I've forgotten I even have a mosquito bite on my eyebrow.
As I was saying, I woke up at 3 in the morning thinking "owwww, why?" and then looked in the mirror. And realized. There was a mosquito that definitely needed to be killed. Because not only do mosquito bites on the lip feel more painful than itchy, they also make you look pretty darn foolish:

That mosquito is dead now. Thanks, tennis racket of doom.
Side note: when I was getting ready to come to Taiwan, the Americans told me I should get vaccinated for Japanese Encephalitis, this unpleasant brain swelling virus carried by mosquitoes. And I was like "ok, if you say so" and started the three shot procedure. I needed to finish the last of the three shots when I went to Germany. So I went to this German doctor who told me "you silly American that's totally unnecessary and dumb." So I said "ok, if you say so." I think of that doctor sometimes. Particularly when I get mosquito bites. On my LIP (and eyebrow). Kind of close to my, as yet, unswollen brain.

It's all in the timing

This morning I stood outside of my English classroom waiting for class to begin and sipping my morning milk tea. My classroom overlooks the school track. I watched as a little boy, probably in 2nd or 3rd grade, walked across the grassy area in the middle of the track. The sprinklers were on. He was very carefully avoiding the water and somberly enjoying his obstacle course. He would wait till the sprinkler spun the other way to proceed. He held up his sweatpants so that the cuffs would not get wet. It was sweet. I felt myself hoping he would succeed in the challenge he had created for himself. And then, the minute he reached the other side of the grass, perfectly dry, the sprinklers turned off.
I laughed out loud. Lucky little guy... two minutes later and your walk would have been totally boring.

Ode to my Breakfast

Good morning America. Meet my breakfast. It consists of three types of fruits: a guava, a green-egg-New-Year's-fruit, and a thing that looks like a small orange and you eat the peel not the inside (sounds like a bad idea, but isn't).

I did not know two of these fruits existed until I came to Taiwan. This is why I give lengthy descriptions instead of names: I don't actually know their names. Although my suspicion is that the orange one is a kumquat- a mythical fruit I had heard of but never seen in America. I think the green fruit looks like an egg. And someone told me you eat them during Chinese New Year. So that's the origin of my highly imaginative name. I have absolutely no idea what it is called in English. My guava is sprinkled with this sugary-not-sugar substance which I learned how to say in Chinese but not English. I believe it is dried, pulverized plum sugar. It's good. That's for sure. It is kind of tart and puckery and is really good with guava.

My breakfast also included homemade starfruit juice that my host family made. Starfruit juice is not photogenic. But it is good to drink.

My point, essentially, is that Taiwan is full of delicious fruits that, unfortunately for your tastebuds, you have never tasted before. There are fruit stands everywhere, where you can buy a huge variety of yummy fruit for very small amounts of money. Every few months a new fruit comes into season and you enjoy it while you can until the next delicious mystery fruit ripens. The argument that everything delicious is bad for you does not hold on this island.

Joy in my Life

One of my favorite things about Taiwan is the people I've met. One of my favorite people is Joyce.

Joyce is an administrator at Ling Jhou. Early on in the school year Joyce "adopted" me and Billy (her host-brother) and Shiela as one of her own, and the rest, as they say, was history. I like to think of Joyce as my cool aunt.
Joyce meets Billy, Shiela and I every morning that we go to Ling Jhou (me for teaching, them for English Village) in her car to give us a ride to school. She also brings us breakfast for the ride which is why I know so many good Taiwanese breakfast foods. It is because of Joyce that most of the food in our apartment is there. And it is because of Joyce that we know many of the good restaurants around our house. Joyce has also given us lots of wonderful things. Like a rice cooker, and pots and pans, and a mini-scooter for Billy.

With Joyce and her family, Billy, Shiela and I have traveled to Jiu Fen to see a old-style Taiwanese town and beautiful rocks:

Ping Dong to make beads and learn about Taiwan's 13 aboriginal tribes:

Tainan to pick pomellos at a relative's farm:

and Kenting to sit on the beach and find all of the sites from one of Taiwan's most popular movies: Cape No. 7 (which you should watch if it ever makes it to America):

Merry Christmas

In Taiwan, there is school on Christmas day. But it's ok. Because I get to see my kids. One of my co-teachers encouraged our students to make me Christmas cards as a surprise.
Merry Christmas to you and I hope you'll enjoy the following sampling of the Christmas cards I have received this week!

Amy and Ivy are artists:




Annie is a writer:


Jimmy and Mary, and Lillian, (and kid who gave me a card and scurried away before I could attach a face, and also didn't sign his/her name) are all tooo cute

Cute as a button

In English class, many students get English names. Generally, your teacher helps you pick a name that sounds close to your Chinese name. However, sometimes random names are thrown into the mix. My friend used to have a girl English-named "Cow." She suggested a new name for Cow.

I have a student English-named "Handsome." Handsome is pretty attached to his name, and I just can't find it in me to ask if he wants to change it to something more boring and less unusual. Like Harry or Henry. So Handsome it remains. Although maybe it would be cruelly kind to make the suggestion: imagine 15 years from now. Handsome goes to America. He is 26. A girl asks "What's your name?" and he replies "My name is Handsome." The girl pauses "What's your real name you loser?" Handsome gets the wrong(?) impression about American manners.

Handsome may not end up growing into a Handsome young man. But he is pretty precious little fellow. He is in 6th grade but has not yet hit puberty. So he is about a head shorter than all the other kids in his class. His best friend is Sherry. (Sherry is also precious. Once she gave me two seashells and said two words, small and big, to describe them). Sherry and Handsome's friendship consists of chasing each other. Mainly. Handsome's English is not very advanced but he sure does try hard. He comes up to me a lot to say "Teacher, Hello!" And I return it with "Hey Handsome, how are you?" For most of my students there is only one answer to this question: "I'm fine, thank you." This is what Handsome says. Except the other day I realized he has mixed up "thank you" and "handsome" and always returns my question with: "I'm fine, Handsome"
I haven't found it within myself to suggest an alternate for this either. I'm a bad teacher.

Side note: In Chinese class, I have a Chinese name. Which sounds like "Kai Lee." It used to be "Kai Ray" which I liked way better, but my students told me it sounded like a boy's name. So I asked my Teacher to change it to something that sounded a little more feminine.

Fighting back

I like milk. And cheese. Alas, although these things exist in Taiwan, they are a less common component of a daily diet.
Meg, Emma and their evil minions enjoy reminding me about the sharp decrease of dairy products in my life. By emailing me tormenting pictures featuring delicious looking food and very self-satisfied facial expressions:




Think you're so darn funny, eh?? Well. I have recently found a type of Taiwanese milk that you wish you could drink in Germany. Take this you grumpbuckets: