(Not) really cute

Since I haven't updated in a month, I thought I'd update twice today.
The following is another example of the truly stellar quality of the English textbook I get to teach from at one of my schools. I am pretty sure it is made by an American publishing company- I've looked it up online. Recently, I have also developed some theories on the religious leanings of its writers.
In every chapter there is a small story geared towards helping the students learn the words. At the end of each story there is a "funny" or "interesting" thing that happens. Something designed to really engage those innocent little 5th graders with such innocent, undeveloped senses of humor... (you guessed it, they don't find them interesting at all)
Currently we are teaching the students different animal names. Here's the "story" I'm expected to read to them to practice recognizing the words:

Look familiar?


Better build a boat... or maybe even an ARK... fast "Old Man."


..."There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark"...

Pretty bad, right? Bible story time in a public school makes me feel a little funny. But. It gets BETTER. Because kids, there's a part of the story which is not so commonly known. Although, it's a really logical step to take if you stop to think about for even a few minutes.





And THAT small, heathen, non-English speaking children, is why dinosaurs no longer walk the earth. And for the teacher who just might not get the point, there are helpful teacher's notes at the top of the page. You might not be able to clearly read it from the picture. The notes say "Why does the old man want two dinosaurs? (Because he wants dinosaur babies)" and "If there's only one dinosaur, what will happen? (No more dinosaurs)."

Sheesh. This is, I would argue, even more absurd than the chapter about professions where the woman only got to be a "housewife." I am not reading this story to my students. But, I must admit, that although I took offense, I also laughed with incredulity. So, at least the writer's "kicker" ending achieved it's objective of entertaining. If not for the reasons intended.

Lovely Things

There are many lovely things in Taiwan that are not lovely in America. They remind me daily that I am far away from home. Here are two prominent examples:

7-11.
In America, 7-11s are really sketchy. They are the places you go when you’re underage and want to buy cheap substances that you are too young to purchase legally. Counters at American 7-11s are monitored by about three video cameras because people like to rob them. And slurpees. Ew. American 7-11s are not pleasant places.
In Taiwan, 7-11s still have Slurpees. Still Ew. In Taiwan, 7-11s are everywhere. Essentially 7-11s are to Taiwan what Starbucks’ are to America. They are clean. Really clean. You can do a great number of convenient and useful things there. Like pay your bills. And buy concert tickets. There is a 7-11 right next to our apartment building. Very convenient.

The subway.
In America, subways are dirty. And there's often the need to closely monitor the whereabouts of your belongings.
In Taiwan you call the subway the MRT. And the MRT is not sketchy. In Kaohsiung the MRT is brand, spankin’ new. Although way more expensive than the 12 NT$ bus ride, MRT rides are still very cheap: approximately 25 NT$ a ride (a little less than 1 US dollar). The thought of being robbed on the MRT is a little laughable. As far as cleanliness goes, I normally opt to use the toilets in the metro stations before using public toilets in other places like restaurants. That’s how clean they are. Hard to believe, but true. Here’s a picture if you require further proof (I took this picture at the "terminal station" which is why there are no people). Look at those shining floors!

Also, in Taiwan MRT employees are friendly. There are yellow vested men that stand on the platform and enthusiastically watch out for travelers, wayward tourists and would-be miscreants. Aside from the fact that these yellow-vested men sometimes mistake me for a wayward tourist, which I find alternately sweet and irritating (I’m thinking maybe it’s the hair… just a guess), these employees are very comforting.